A little touch up

Now that its Autumn & I've had the same blog colour for a year thought I'd do a little touch up. What da yay think?

Thoughts

Thoughts are funny things really, well that's if they can be called things at all but not getting into that whole thing. :o)

So I'm feeling bit more human I went to meditation on wed & to the gym Tue & yesterday & I was so amazed at how much I'd gotten out of shape even in 2 months since I've been. But anyway I'm feeling better which is good. I feel like I'm getting proper sleep or should i say more restful sleep which always helps. I hate having to drag myself out of bed Its so much nicer to wake up with some semblance of energy & be able to move.

Anyway back to the thoughts, I was in the gym yesterday & I was running on the treadmill & I was doing ok, tired but going ok & then out of nowhere my brain starts with the ' i can't do anymore' thoughts & nearly immediately I started to fatigue, isn't that mad? I'd felt fine like 2 seconds previous it really brought home to me how much our thoughts effect us. I've been watching the Australian biggest loser & the trainer go on about getting thru the mental barrier & I hadn't ever really thought about it til then. It just goes to show you.

So that got me thinking of how I've been feeling so stressed & under pressure in work etc & maybe if I start thinking about it in a more positive way (not sure yet how) but it might seem a little less overwhelming. So thats my project for the next while we'll see how we go.

I'm in work on lunch listening to Pink(the first of my de-stressing initiatives ie taking a lunch break), I really love her music i really can identify with a lot of it. I'm so glad she's getting back with her hubbie. We have tickets to see her in Sydney in Jun I'm so excited she's supposed to be brilliant in concert. You see....trying to think of good stuff :o).

Anyway I'm glad its Friday I've loads of study to catch up with this weekend cos it has been suffering with being so busy in work but I've exams in like 6 weeks so need to get my ass in gear. oh the joy but it'll all be worth it in the end,(think I'll need to use that as a mantra) :oD

Hope you all have a brilliant weekend & remember keep smiling.

So up in the air

I'm feeling a bit crushed by all the work pressure I've been under for the past month. Just really flattened really. Just when I think its coming to an end or well at least a bit of a let up, something else comes up to take up more time. I've never been so busy or stressed in a job in my life before & I have to say I'm really hating it. Not the job so much as the stress I've been under. I don't do stress well.

I feel like my life has gone totally out of balance with not enough down time to balance out the madness that is my work life recently. I'm getting bit sick of it.

On top of that it looks like our parent company is going to be outsourcing the reporting side of our org so that will leave me out of a job on 1st July. So its even harder to motivate myself to do stuff when I know I'm going to be let go anyway. That's not even the thing that's worrying me, what worrying me is my visa is a work sponsored visa so if I'm no longer employed by this company I no longer will have a valid visa to stay in Australia. The dept of immigration only give you 28 days to find another sponsor. Which even finding a job in that time is hard. At least I've found out well in advance, I know loads of people who've found out their jobs are going at the end of the day so in that respect I count myself lucky.

But its all very depressing really & a bit of a pain. I don't know what to do I'd be happy to go home but S likes it here & wants to stay but not sure if I can go through the hassle of applying for another visa, it really is a long a tedious paper pushing exercise & patience & nerves get stretched to the limits. I really don't know what to do.

Also one of my best friends is getting married in Sept & I'd love so much to get home for it but if I apply for a visa & its still being processed I'll have to apply for a bridging visa & one of the stipulations is I can't leave the country so that makes it really crappy.

oh what to do what to do? I really feel like my mind is spinning out of control. Its more that everything is so up in the air & I'm not really sure where the chips will land so I feel like I can't plan anything. I feel so powerless & I hate that. I need to shake it off. I'm going to the gym after work & it'll be the first time in ages but I think it'll really help I need to work off some steam.

Anyway hope you all are doing well, I'm trying to catch up on all my blog reading, I'm so behind.

Keep smiling :o)