So up in the air

I'm feeling a bit crushed by all the work pressure I've been under for the past month. Just really flattened really. Just when I think its coming to an end or well at least a bit of a let up, something else comes up to take up more time. I've never been so busy or stressed in a job in my life before & I have to say I'm really hating it. Not the job so much as the stress I've been under. I don't do stress well.

I feel like my life has gone totally out of balance with not enough down time to balance out the madness that is my work life recently. I'm getting bit sick of it.

On top of that it looks like our parent company is going to be outsourcing the reporting side of our org so that will leave me out of a job on 1st July. So its even harder to motivate myself to do stuff when I know I'm going to be let go anyway. That's not even the thing that's worrying me, what worrying me is my visa is a work sponsored visa so if I'm no longer employed by this company I no longer will have a valid visa to stay in Australia. The dept of immigration only give you 28 days to find another sponsor. Which even finding a job in that time is hard. At least I've found out well in advance, I know loads of people who've found out their jobs are going at the end of the day so in that respect I count myself lucky.

But its all very depressing really & a bit of a pain. I don't know what to do I'd be happy to go home but S likes it here & wants to stay but not sure if I can go through the hassle of applying for another visa, it really is a long a tedious paper pushing exercise & patience & nerves get stretched to the limits. I really don't know what to do.

Also one of my best friends is getting married in Sept & I'd love so much to get home for it but if I apply for a visa & its still being processed I'll have to apply for a bridging visa & one of the stipulations is I can't leave the country so that makes it really crappy.

oh what to do what to do? I really feel like my mind is spinning out of control. Its more that everything is so up in the air & I'm not really sure where the chips will land so I feel like I can't plan anything. I feel so powerless & I hate that. I need to shake it off. I'm going to the gym after work & it'll be the first time in ages but I think it'll really help I need to work off some steam.

Anyway hope you all are doing well, I'm trying to catch up on all my blog reading, I'm so behind.

Keep smiling :o)

A blog Year

Wow I realised I passed my year blogging anniversary & forgot about it totally. A year of my life has passed. What have i done with my life? Most people do this kind of thinking at New years me i find myself doing it at blogs new year ;o) well i never said i was normal.

Well I still have the same job but a lot more responsibility, in the current climate I'm thankful I still have a job. I've visited Melbourne, Brisbane & Canberra this past year, just short breaks but good. Oh and Adelaide nearly forgot that was last weekend. Had great time. I'll post about it soon. I've aged a year :o) I haven't killed my husband yet, always a good sign :oD I've done a photography class, I've taken exams. UUUU I went home of course how could I forget, friends & family have had babies this past year. I've made some new friends here. I've read a lot, learned a bit. Laughed a lot, cried a lot. Life huh its funny. I've seen a good bit of New South Wales. I've learnt why its called New South Wales or well the several possible reasons. I've gotten more organised at home & work. I've improved my diet(although its slipped a bit this past month), I've exercised more. I've learned to love myself a bit more but its a work in progress.

Its nice to look back on a year & even though you know it was hard at the time the memories that come to mind first are the good memories. I like that. I read somewhere recently that thinking about the bad things that happened before means you are reliving them. Made me think about that it did. So I'm trying to be more positive. I have found that i can be quite negative, unintentionally but I am.

Anyway a few random thoughts for today.

Passing the Purple Hat to You........

This is another email forward I got, it made me think but mostly made me grateful so I'd thought I'd share it & feel free to pass it on to another phenomenal woman(or man).







Passing the Purple Hat to You........IN honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer. Pass this on to five women that you want watched over. If you don't know five women to pass this on to, one will do just fine.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck?(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).?

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.'

There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it...... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us!

If you don't mind, send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier. Please send this to five phenomenal women today in celebration of Beautiful Women's Month. If you do, something good will happen--you will boost another woman's self esteem.

Have a great day :o) & give someone you love a BIG hug.

YIPPEEE

Yipppeeeeeeeee its FRIDAY, 'nuff said :oD

In my younger days

I got this from my sister as a forward, thought it was good so I'm going post it here. Enjoy

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I didn't need to hold my tummy in
to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.

And how about those blasted tights --
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print has been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to grey
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
the outside's changed a bit.


But, on a positive note... I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I've learned that making a ’living’ is not the same thing as making a 'life.'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life just being a doormat. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said,people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.


So on that note hope you have a brilliant day.

Case of the Blahs

Don't know whats wrong with me today, having a case of the 'blaaaaahhhs'. I was going grand up until lunchtime then sort of slumped. Can't seem to find any energy to do anymore work. I'm supposed to be going to meditation tonight & I don't think I'll manage that. I just want to go home to bed. I hate when I get like this, it frustrates me cos I want to be doing things but nothing happens. It kindda makes me disappointed in myself that i let precious time slip by by feeling crappy. I've been told before to give myself a break that everyone gets like this but i find that hard to do. Sad but true.

I had Monday off, so I've only done two days work so far but I feel like I normally do on a friday, totally zonked. Its crap knowing i still have two more days to go until a lie in. oh well.

Makes me think of motivation, how do you motivate yourself? I'm learning about myself all the time but this is something i struggle with. How do i motivate myself when i really don't want to do something even when i know it''ll do my good. Its kinda like having a parent/child conversation in my head. You know the one - parent 'you should do such and such it'll be good for you', child' i don't want to', parent ' why?' child ' i don't know i just don't'. But all going on inside. It's the easiest way to try describe how I'm feeling right now. strange but again true. :o/

Blaah blaah blaah. Seems like such a waste of a day. All I want to do is crawl into bed & sleep. Maybe i need some vitamins or something. Hope you're having a better day & hopefully i'll have a better one tomorrow.

Jumping

We went jumping at the weekend, was good fun, its been awhile so it was nice to be back in the air again. I only did one jump in the end as Sat weather wasn't great & we had friends visiting us from Ireland. They're on a world trip & are in Australia for 2 weeks so they came down to Picton too. S was able to borrow gear for F to jump so I lent my gear to A to get a few jumps in. That's why I only did one, I let her use my rig & she got 2 jumps in so I was happy with that. She hadn't jumped in 2 years so she was happy out :o)

I took yesterday off work. We've been away the last three weekend so I just felt I needed to just be at home by myself for a day. It was really rejuvenating. I needed it. Sometimes I just need some time to myself to let my soul rest & be peaceful. Later on I put the TV on & the Oscars were on, I watched a bit of them, they were quite good. I like Hugh Jackman though so that helped :o). I actually saw him & his wife & kids in Sydney, they went into a restaurant near my apt. He is as cute in the flesh.

I started studying for my next round of exams. I was hoping that this would be the last set but I just found out that 2 of the exams I want to do are on at the same time so I can't. How crap so I'll just have to do that on the following round. I'm nearly there though, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. S has been really good about me having to study, ie tv off but we'll if that lasts the 3 months until the exams :oD its hard on him too.

I've noticed the days getting shorter already its feels like no time since winter & we're heading for autumn again. I'm going to try get out more while the evenings are still bright.

I hope you're having a good day.