So up in the air

I'm feeling a bit crushed by all the work pressure I've been under for the past month. Just really flattened really. Just when I think its coming to an end or well at least a bit of a let up, something else comes up to take up more time. I've never been so busy or stressed in a job in my life before & I have to say I'm really hating it. Not the job so much as the stress I've been under. I don't do stress well.

I feel like my life has gone totally out of balance with not enough down time to balance out the madness that is my work life recently. I'm getting bit sick of it.

On top of that it looks like our parent company is going to be outsourcing the reporting side of our org so that will leave me out of a job on 1st July. So its even harder to motivate myself to do stuff when I know I'm going to be let go anyway. That's not even the thing that's worrying me, what worrying me is my visa is a work sponsored visa so if I'm no longer employed by this company I no longer will have a valid visa to stay in Australia. The dept of immigration only give you 28 days to find another sponsor. Which even finding a job in that time is hard. At least I've found out well in advance, I know loads of people who've found out their jobs are going at the end of the day so in that respect I count myself lucky.

But its all very depressing really & a bit of a pain. I don't know what to do I'd be happy to go home but S likes it here & wants to stay but not sure if I can go through the hassle of applying for another visa, it really is a long a tedious paper pushing exercise & patience & nerves get stretched to the limits. I really don't know what to do.

Also one of my best friends is getting married in Sept & I'd love so much to get home for it but if I apply for a visa & its still being processed I'll have to apply for a bridging visa & one of the stipulations is I can't leave the country so that makes it really crappy.

oh what to do what to do? I really feel like my mind is spinning out of control. Its more that everything is so up in the air & I'm not really sure where the chips will land so I feel like I can't plan anything. I feel so powerless & I hate that. I need to shake it off. I'm going to the gym after work & it'll be the first time in ages but I think it'll really help I need to work off some steam.

Anyway hope you all are doing well, I'm trying to catch up on all my blog reading, I'm so behind.

Keep smiling :o)

Yipee its the weekend.

Its a very sad day when I have to sit & think about what my login & password are for my blog. Huuummmmm me thinks there are changes to be made. The whole point of setting it up really was to express/vent/record my feelings etc. So if they're not coming out here, they must be being bottled up, well I suppose that would explain a few things.
I just noticed that its been 3 weeks since my last post & we're back from holidays a month. I mean..hello....where did that time go. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a merry go round & only every so often get off & notice my life. Not really the way I want to be. Its seems as I get older the faster the time goes. Does anyone else feel like that or is it just me sliding very slowly in senility??

Anyway to quote a very old record at this stage I've been mental busy in work. The group accountant in our company left & I've sort of unofficially been promoted to her position. Well basically I've been dumped with doing her job. But I found out this week that I am going to get a pay rise to reflect the increase of work load. & boy is it an increase. There was basically NO handover from her position. She handed in her notice while I was away & was supposed to have 2 weeks to handover to me. Guess what she called in sick for those 2 weeks & came in her last day so I got all of a two hour handover. That was such a sucky thing to do & I was kindda hurt too cos we were friends or so I thought. She had a bit of beef with the CEO so didn't really care but she knew I would be the one that would be in a hole but sure what can you do. Yes I'm feeling cranky have you guessed? ha ha
Ah no I'm not so bad now but the last two weeks have been pretty much hell. I'm not out of the works yet but at least I got all the board reports done so I'm back to doing my own job again. So busy but no stress of worrying about making mistakes. The position is a lit more responsibility. I'll see how I go over next few weeks & if its still mental I might start looking for another job.

So anyway forgetting my login has sort of brought home to me that I don't have a proper work/life balance. Work has taken over a bit so I need to pull that back. I've booked to see a personal trainer next week...dear Lord am I mad?? So hes going to do up a programme & stuff for me to follow at the gym I joined at the beginning of June to which I have been to ....huuuuummmmm how many times???????? None!. But its all about keeping trying. So going to go see him & hopefully be more motivated. Also my sister has been getting into knitting & stuff the last few months she made me a hat. Its was so cool so thought I might give it a go. Its something I haven't done since school so I bought a couple of balls of wool & I'm going to knit a scarf since its winter here at the moment. Hopefully I'll have it finished while its still winter, ha ha ha.
What else?? oh yeah I mentioned before how I'd like to start sewing well I was looking up some classes & theres one starting at the end of July in the community college not too far away from me. Its not too expensive either which is a bit plus. So think I'm going to enrol in that.

We're heading away for the weekend. Just decided this week & booked last night. All very last minute. But I needed a break. I worked last sat & sun so that would make today my 11th day working. Ok it wasn't like 18 hour days or anything but still you need at least one day off. S is going skydiving on sat so I had said I'd go do a jump too as I haven't jumped since March. Then we said we'd stay up there sat night & go do something on the Sunday. And from that we just decided to head up tonight instead, go jumping tomorrow & then head back to hotel & do the tourist thing on Sunday. Its about 3-4 hours north of Sydney, where we're going is called Port Stephens. So I'm so looking forward to that. I've taken Monday off work too so it'll be nice to just chill out at home on Monday. S couldn't get the time off work so we'll be back Sunday

I'm so glad I got those board reports done this week they were really weighing me down. I'm not good when I get stressed. It tends to get me down & sap all my energy so it was like a huge weight was lifted when I'd finished. I know I'm still going to be busy but I feel so much more positive now. I just thought as I'm writing I haven't put the photos up of our holiday yet, I must do that too. I'll probably have more from this weekend too so that's on my mental to do list too.

I saw this & thought it was quite apt for my life over the last few weeks.

'The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings' - Okakura Kakuzo

I'm hoping you all have a really great weekend. Keep smiling, it really does make people wonder. :o)