Start of a new me

Ok I was going to write the heading as start of a new week but decided instead to call it start of a new me. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking & then a lot of procrastinating about myself this weekend. I really wanted to get a few things done like writing in my blog for one which I didn’t’ get to do & I had a whole list of errands I needed to do & did I do them ok yes I did some but with great effort & much mental dialogue to get my ass out the door. Don’t know what’s going on its like I decide to improve myself & something inside kicks in & goes no I like it the way it is.
It can be very frustrating breaking out of old behaviours & habits & I’m still trying to get through it all. How do you fight yourself? It’s a pondery. I don’t’ think that’s even a word but hey I like it.
But even now as I start to think about doing a healthy diet plan & the like for this week & I’m dreading it & already the ’blah can’t be bothered’ tune is going on in my head. Ahhhh its frustrating.
Also I did a search for my blog just to see what would come up & nothing, not even a link don’t know why or whats going on. I searched for others that I read & they all came up so not really sure why mine doesn’t might have to ask the experts or other bloggers for advice on getting my blog ‘out there’.
So back to the new me, I’m going to start tomorrow as its way too much of a mental barrier to start on a Monday having said that I did have a healthy lunch today so I’m proud of that. I’m planning on going for a run this evening after work. Ok so it may be more of a brisk power walk cos its been so long but we’ll see.
I’ve decided to keep up with this blog. I’ve decided to grow some veggies. Oh oh did I mention I had planted some tomato seeds last week & they germinated this weekend. I have four baby shoots & I’m so proud, who knew! I’ve decided to start recycling properly not just here & there. I set up bags for plastic & paper beside my bin so I’ll remember. It’s just a habit I need to develop.

I think the thing is I’m a really good starter’er but not really good at consistency & continuing on with stuff so going to give that a go this week & see how I get on.

I was debating this weekend about whether to give my blog address to all my friends & for some reason I’m reluctant cos I feel like I’d start writing as if someone is listening & start to edit stuff & I don’t’ want that. Maybe I wouldn’t be I’ll leave it til I get a bit more confident in myself & then see.

I'm glad I'm starting to be a bit more proactive in the whole environmental thing, I'm beginning to realise everyone can do their bit no matter how small, cos it all adds up. There are so many out there doing their bit & I hadn't realised it until I started reading blogs & comments. Its really nice to hear about so many nice people out there doing nice things. Its not often enough that we hear about the good things in life. All the newspapers are filled with is bad news it seems. I have to say I haven't bought a newspaper in years, they just depress me & I only watch the headlines of the news generally. So its such a nice change to read about good things people are doing. It makes it feel, to me anyway, that the world has a bit more balance & thats a nice thought.

So be good to the planet today its the only one we have.

Being Found

I've just been reading Rhonda Jeans' blog & as I've only discovered it recently & she's been blogging for about a year I decided to start at her beginning & she said something amazing in one of her comments. Might I add - amazing to me as when I look at all her comments today I wonder how she could have thought that. She said something along the lines of ' I was wondering if I'd be found in a blog' & I thought wow she felt the same way as I'm feeling now.
Its all well & good wanting to help people & be there for people but if you have no people then its a bit redundant isn't it? Irony! it keeps the world amusing.
So feeling somewhat reassured that I'll be found if I'm meant to be I'll continue on my thoughts for the day.
Living simply to simply live.
I struggled for a long time to find who I am in this world, where is my spot. I suppose the age old, why are we here question? Its a big one isn't it?
Ever since I've been quite young I've had since feeling/sensation/emothion (not really sure) of searching for something. Ok so the pondery is how can I find something when I don't know what I'm searching for?
Who Am I? Where am I going? who will I be when I get there?
Also the big one for me - at the time- was how do people know the real me? Is it by my actions? but haven't we all done things that were less than honourable & thought well that isn't really me? Is it by my emotions, my thoughts, my words? how do I know what really is me? Who AM I?

And while its still an ongoing journey I think I'm starting to find a path through this muddy track of life, my own little space of peace in this world of turmoil. I hope to be able to share my experiences & trials & tribulations with you so you can maybe learn, be inspired ....who knows. The world really is such a beautiful place but we get caught up in the material that we forget to look around & be grateful for what we have & who we are. Thats why I want to help people to unload some of their emotional burdens & see what an amazing creation the human being really is & how special each of us are.

So think of even one thing today you are grateful for or if you're lucky write a list. Leave it somewhere you can see it often today & smile. You're blessed today.

The Next Day

I find it funny when you start out on a grand limb & you have loads of insporation then when you try to put it into words .....nothing.
I've been contemplating getting my blog out there & to try to help people & being a new blogger I'm a bit lost I admit. I was introduced to a really inspiring blog by my sister which upon getting permission I will post the link & the woman who writes it is so inspiring. So here I am in the virtual jungle learning as I go.
It kind of reminds me about life in general, it really is a kind of jungle that we stumble through trying to find meaning to our lives. I have so many thoughts & finding it hard to get them in order well should I say a coherant order so it doesn't turn into one bit waffle.

I think the thought for today which I'm spreading from this other blog of the day is to do a random act of kindness for someone today. It really does come back to you tenfold when you lest expect it.

So be kind to each other, really make the effort & know others are out there too doing the same.

Be strong & stay positive. :o)